You may have noticed that the civil justice system has been under fairly brutal attack by corporate and professional lobbies for about 35 years now. It’s almost incredible that it still exists at all, given the money behind these assaults. Do you know what the system needs? Celebrity endorsements!
Take Kim Kardashian, for example. She’s already the queen of celebrity endorsements: "Jewelry, shoes, diet products, candles, perfumes. Famous Cupcakes in Los Angeles even created a cupcake flavor for her ("Va-Va-Va-Nilla")." Plus Midori liqueur.
But today, TMZ reports that Kim is threatening to sue In Touch magazine, which alleged that she cheated on her fiancé, Kris Humphries, “with NFL player Bret Lockett ... and she's threatening to sue the mag and Lockett.” This is the same day that Kim launched a new perfume. What's the harm in one more endorsement?
Or, what about Hulk Hogan, who just endorsed a line of Pumice-Based Cleaning Products. Today, he told TMZ that “he plans on filing a lawsuit against the Warrior for "spewing sewage" in a 7-minute video tirade.” Where would Hulk be without the civil justice system? He should give a little back, right?
In May, Naomi Campbell threatened to sue Cadbury (owned by Kraft) “for using her name in ‘racist’ chocolate ads” reported the New York Daily News. Cadbury apologized and pulled the ad, something that only took place after she threatened to sue. Naomi could use some good press, and what better way than endorsing justice?
Or here’s another:
“Gossip Girl” actress Blake Lively is reportedly threatening to sue over nude photos that her spokeswoman claims are “100 percent fake.” Reuters reports that there are at least five photos circulating the web allegedly showing the 23-year-old snapping nude pics with her iPhone in front of a mirror.
I don’t know if Blake has endorsed anything yet, but the civil justice system would be a great place to start.
So all of you celebrities out there who think the civil justice system will always be there for you, think again. It won’t if the business and professional lobbies have anything to do with it. We’ve covered a lot of you before (here, here, here) and now, it could really use your help. We can't imagine a more important deal.
UPDATE: Hi to all of you Overlawyered "this is not a parody" visitors! You guys over at that blog, you have got to lighten up. Perhaps some more pop culture and humor in your lives would help. Keep visting ThePopTort, and you'll see how it's done. Thanks for visiting!